---

“The progresse”

See what a love there is betweene

The K: & his endeared Queene,

And all their subjects love, & care,

Is fixed on this royall paire.

But did their Majesties select

5

Deserving persons to affect

Like to themselves, & not love all

The Court would soon bee very small.

With my Lord Duke1 I must begin,

Cause I thinke hees free from sin

10

Of Lovers: yet hees not so stupid

But hee may bee a friend to Cupid.

Heres no Signoras2 thats the reason:

To speake of Grandies pettie treason:

Hee had a fall, alas ’twas pittie

15

I wish’t had rather been the Citie.3

My Lord Marquesse4 with his good face,

Is come now to fill up a place,

Why hees wellcome: thers a good Table

Belongs to the Master of the stable.5

20

Lord Chamberlaine6 has chang’d his mind

And in the Country was very kind,

Admitting chambermayds to his table,

But keeping Ladies from the fable.7

Blame not his choice for hee learnd that

25

By his own Ladies8 loveing her cat

Tis fit, mee thinkee that hee at the least

As well as shee should love his beast.

My lord of Dorset9 has the renown

For mistresses in Court & Town,

30

Hee loves for beauty or for wit,

Cause hee’l bee sure the mark to hit.

But Dorset thou gin’st to decline10

Every one must have a time,

Leave off poore man, thy date is past

35

And pleasures will give ore at last.

My Lord Carliles11 voluminous boord

And dishes in folio do affoord12

Great entertainement to his friends

Whom virtue, or his wife13 commends.

40

But shee poore Lady must bee fed

With decimo sexto in his bed,14

And takes no pleasure to read int

Beecause it is too small a print.

My Lord of Holland15 bears the bell,16

45

In Cupids wars hee doth excell;

His Lady17 answeares not his gillitie18

Though hee exceeds all for Civilitie.

As for my Lord it belongs to him

To see whos Ladies hee can win,

50

And of pleasure to take his fill

Hee has been good, I hope he will bee still.

Newport19 is pidling20 now, & then,

In company hees like other men.

Whats that to have a wench like the rest

55

Hee’le play his part as well as the best.

What ment you Mr Piercy21 by that

To throw away Don Lewis22 hat?

What was the cause of all those jarrs

Who should fight best in venus warrs.

60

Percy loves all but Lo dan Luce23

Courts one alone, but wert his use

When he change sutes to change love too

Hee would have mistresses enough.

Lusty Lo: Goring24 cannot bee mist

65

For then should some want to be kist

Hees a smart lade, & in his brickes25

Some thing he has that often prickes.

Judge him not by his lookes so old26

Hees like a leeke as I am told

70

Hees head is gray, his blade is greene

And hees as active as at 18

Craven comes not to boast of bloud

Whats ere defective his purse makes good,27

Who would not then his mistres be

75

That is more Franck28 then two, or three.

But some say he does this to spare

For wives more costly then mistrisses are,

Besides if one please not his minde

Hee finds another thats more kind

80

Gandison29 too did there resort,

But yet his Mistres was not at Court,

Peace foole he must have more then one

Purging his reines keepes from the stone.30

Porter31 did waite it was his turne

85

Meane time with jealousy he did burne,

Leave off this humour of Spanish blood

Tis thy wives vertue must make her good.32

Gentle men waiters33 take your dish

And better then either flesh or fish

90

Dyet in common does not please

As a dainty private bit at ease.

The querries34 they ar still astride

Better then others they can ride

And Colte, Horse, or Mare can back

95

Ladies may use them if they lack.

The Pensioners35 have weapons too

Defend faire Ladies & pleasures doe

Theyr lusty men both stout & tall

Able at one game to beate all.

100

You ar well met good Doctor lister36

Often y have given a great lady a glister37

Your Pipe38 was good, shee could not refuse

But all thinges ar the worse for use.

Next him follows Monsieur Plancy39

105

Who often times makes much of Rancy,40

Contemne him not his drugs ar good

His cordiall will breed good blood.

Oberlt41 you need not to complaine

You can let blood in the right veine

110

Take heede your Lancet42 be kept cleane

Least you do hurt you know what I meane.

My La: Dutchesse43 is still the same

And is a friend to venus game

Her choice betrayes who best doth like her

115

For by his haire he is a striker44

Why Madam are you so profuse

Of your love to my Lo: don Luce45

Or make him leave his sullen humour

Or leave him quite to cease the rumour.

120

My Lady Marquis46 stayd behinde,

In her husbands absence47 she is kinde

Use your time Madam to be no foole

Advise: the Courts a very good schoole

Honestys worse then making faces

125

And is one of the greatest disgraces

That haps to a Lady faire and younge

She may be otherwise, hold thy tongue.

Denby shee is praysd by many48

And holds her head as high as any,

130

Tis thought shees vertuous thats no matter

Ile not her more then others flatter.

She has a mayd knows all her mind

Whom she hates, and to whom shees kind

This mayd now chang’d to Mistris Easter

135

Without whose healp she cannot vest her.49

Madam cryes preecher50 hast away

I know that Church doth for mee stay

The Proverbs true though very odd

Neerer the Church farther from God.

140

My exc’lent revrent Lord Cary

Keeper o’th gloves to good Queene Mary51

Town & Country shee followes the Court

Though never finds but little sport.

My Lady Kellegrew52 holds one well

145

For red and white shee doth excell

If she be courted now takes in snuffe

For shee hath very good season’d stuffe.

Crofts tale53 is easily told

For shee hath servants young & old,

150

Some ar to gray some ar to green

The last is still in most esteeme.

Seymer54 they say did love too much

And did the given saddle grutch55

’Twas her own fault, had she been wise

155

Both saddle & horse had been her prize.

Poor Mrs Arden56 was not wise

To prick young Cupid in his thighs

I feare the boy in vengance had her,

Venus know where, but thats no matter.

160

Howard dared not a servant owne

Her love shee keepes from being known

Although shee thinks the world too blind

Yet allways Cat wil after kind.57

Hanmer58 you ought for to retire

165

And not come to blow Cupids fire

Your tradings better as tis sayd

Then when at Court you were a mayd.

Her husbands59 glad poore man of ease

Entreats her to take whom she please

170

’Tis sayd he has hornes60 but thats a gull

Hees the Court Calfe61 & not the Bull.

The Mother of the mayds62 allmost forgot:

Why? Shees obscure, I know her not

Shee came to Court cause shee was poore

175

Yet got her liveing easily before.

Madam Nurse63sits at home & thinks

While her sonne64goes abroad & drinks

Be merry Madam & safely laugh

For the still sow eates up all the draffe

180

Your daughters they ar proud as the Devill

Of all others thats the worst evill

It is their folly cause they advance

For all their witts were lost in Fraunce.65

Caito66 comes in play with the rest,

185

And may prove as good as the best;

Keepe close for the honour of thy Nation

Lest wee call loosenes the French fashion.

Madam Vamtlet67 I pittie her case

Her daughters faire to supply her place

190

She ginns betimes no hurt in that

No danger is in lying flat.

The Gard he stamps, & stares, & sweares

But dares not touch a mayd fors eares

Because the Lords ar thereof68 found

195

And leaves them allwayes very unsound.

The Chambermayd to cover her dock69

Wears of her La: things eene to the smock

The Lo: haven tane it up before

Knoweth the way to do it once more.

200

Our paper shall not know the Name

Of Priest or Bishop to proclaime

What ere gainst others wee attempt

Those sanctifyed persons ar exempt.

May thousand plagues both old & new

205

More then damnation ever knew

Fall heavy on him that denyes

Honour to Church & Monarchies.

---

Source. Folger MS V.b.110, pp. 88-90

Other known sources. Bodleian MS Ashmole 36-37, fol. 264r

R5

Quick links to other poems within this section

Select page here R0. Introduction R1 Reader, Ile be sworne R2 Surely the face R3 Vainglorious man R4 Come arme thy self R5 See what a love R6 A health to my Lady R7 U. R. I. C. R8 Landless Will: R9 Two Parliaments dissolv’d

¹   my Lord Duke: James Stuart, Duke of Lennox. <back>

²   Heres no Signoras: possible allusion to Stuart’s connection with Spain. In 1632, on a visit to the continent, he was made a grandee of Spain of the first class. <back>

³   To speake of Grandies...Citie: these lines are obscure. A variant of the final line has: “I wish, t’had rather bin in the citty” (Bodleian MS Ashmole 36-37). <back>

⁴   My Lord Marquesse: James, Marquis of Hamilton. <back>

⁵   Master of the stable: Hamilton was made Master of the Horse after the Duke of Buckingham’s death in 1628. <back>

⁶   Lord Chamberlaine: Philip Herbert, Earl of Pembroke, Lord Chamberlain of the Household. <back>

⁷   keeping Ladies from the fable: unclear; possibly “keeping ladies from becoming the subject of gossip”, and therefore a comment either on his discretion or his preference for “chambermaids”. Herbert had a reputation for sexual immorality. <back>

⁸   his own Ladies: Anne Herbert (née Clifford), Countess of Pembroke. <back>

⁹   My lord of Dorset: Edward Sackville, Earl of Dorset, Lord Chamberlain in Henrietta Maria’s household. <back>

¹⁰   But Dorset thou gin’st to decline: Sackville was born in 1591. <back>

¹¹   My Lord Carliles: either James Hay, 1st Earl of Carlisle (d.1636), or James Hay, 2nd Earl of Carlisle. Since the former was known for his lavish hospitality, he is the more likely candidate, and this would help to date the poem to a time before his death. <back>

¹²   voluminous boord...affoord: the analogy here is between the dimension of Hay’s hospitality and the size of books. A folio is the biggest, and typically the most expensive, size of book. <back>

¹³   his wife: presumably the 1st Earl’s second wife, Lucy (née Percy). <back>

¹⁴   With decimo sexto in his bed: the joke depends on a continuation of the analogy with the sizes of books, though here this is turned to bawdy effect. A decimo sexto is the smallest size of book. <back>

¹⁵   My Lord of Holland: Henry Rich, Earl of Holland, High Steward in Henrietta Maria’s household. <back>

¹⁶   bears the bell: takes the first place. <back>

¹⁷   His Lady: Isabel Rich (née Cope), Countess of Holland. <back>

¹⁸   gillitie: a variant, “agilitie”, is a better reading (Bodleian MS Ashmole 36-37). <back>

¹⁹   Newport: Mountjoy Blount, Earl of Newport. <back>

²⁰   pidling: trifling; petty. <back>

²¹   Mr Piercy: a variant, “Percy”, is a better reading (Bodleian MS Ashmole 36-37); probably Henry Percy, one of the Queen’s male favourites, and formerly her Master of Horse. <back>

²²   Don Lewis: a variant, “Don Luce’s”, is a better reading (Bodleian MS Ashmole 36-37); hence Randal MacDonnell, Lord Dunluce. <back>

²³   Percy loves all...Luce: a variant, “Percy loves all; but Lord Don Luce”, is a better reading (Bodleian MS Ashmole 36-37). <back>

²⁴   Lo: Goring: George Goring (Earl of Norwich from 1644). Like many of the figures mentioned in the poem, Goring had connections with the Queen, having served first as her Vice-Chamberlain, and subsequently as her Master of the Horse. <back>

²⁵   brickes: probably a strained form of “breeches”, in an effort to secure a pun with “prickes”. In fact, the scribe of Bodleian MS Ashmole 36-37 tries “breeches”, but deletes this word in favour of “bricks”. <back>

²⁶   Judge him not...so old: Goring was born in 1585. <back>

²⁷   Craven comes not...purse makes good: William Craven, Baron Craven of Hampstead Marshall, Berkshire, was the son of a wealthy merchant. He paid the Crown £7000 for his peerage in 1627. <back>

²⁸   Franck: liberal, generous. There is also perhaps a pun on a name here (Francis or Frances), though this has now been lost. <back>

²⁹   Gandison: William Villiers, Viscount Grandison. <back>

³⁰   Purging his reines...stone: the bawdy joke depends on contemporary medical theory, which stressed the importance of regular flows of matter through the body. Here the expulsion of fluid from the kidneys (“purging his reines”) helps to prevent the development of kidney stones. <back>

³¹   Porter: probably Endymion Porter. <back>

³²   Leave off...make her good: probably a reference to Porter’s mistress, a Spanish singer, and possibly also to marital difficulties experienced by him and his wife, Olive, a committed Catholic, c.1634. <back>

³³   Gentle men waiters: gentlemen attached to the court, to wait at the royal table. <back>

³⁴   The querries: equerries; members of the royal household charged with the care of horses. <back>

³⁵   The Pensioners: Gentlemen Pensioners, a group of gentlemen who acted as guards or attendants to the King on state occasions. <back>

³⁶   Doctor lister: Sir Matthew Lister, royal physician. <back>

³⁷   glister: i.e. clyster; enema, suppository. <back>

³⁸   Pipe: literally, clyster-pipe, used for administering a clyster; however, the bawdy connotation here is obvious. <back>

³⁹   Monsieur Plancy: Pierre de la Plancy, son of the French royal midwife Mme. Peronne, and apothecary to Henrietta Maria. <back>

⁴⁰   Rancy: possibly a reference to Jacques Rancien, another servant to Henrietta Maria. <back>

⁴¹   Oberlt: “Obert” is a variant (Bodleian MS Ashmole 36-37). He is clearly another physician; almost certainly Maurice Aubert, the Queen’s French surgeon. <back>

⁴²   Lancet: a pointed surgical instrument; here, the word carries obvious bawdy connotations. <back>

⁴³   My La: Dutchesse: Katherine Villiers (née Manners), Duchess of Buckingham and widow of George Villiers, Duke of Buckingham. <back>

⁴⁴   Her choice...he is a striker: allusion to Katherine Villiers’s new husband, the red-headed Randal MacDonnell, Lord Dunluce, who succeeded as Earl of Antrim at the end of 1636, and married the Duchess in the same year. The fact that this poem describes the match (in the following stanza) as a “rumour” helps to date it to a time shortly before the marriage. <back>

⁴⁵   my Lo: don Luce: Randal MacDonnell, Lord Dunluce. <back>

⁴⁶   My Lady Marquis: Mary Feilding, Marchioness of Hamilton, daughter of the Duke and Countess of Denbigh, and niece of the Duke of Buckingham. <back>

⁴⁷   her husbands absence: James, Marquis of Hamilton. The line probably refers to the notoriously protracted delay between the couple’s marriage when he was aged fourteen and she seven, and the eventual consummation of the marriage eight years later. Alternatively, it may refer to the Marquis’s military expedition in 1631 to aid the Swedish Protestant King Gustavus Adolphus. <back>

⁴⁸   Denby shee is praysd by many: Susan Feilding (née Villiers), Countess of Denbigh, Mistress of the Robes for Henrietta Maria. <back>

⁴⁹   She has a mayd...cannot vest her: although it has not been possible to trace the particular maid, the poem’s point is clear enough. After the maid’s marriage (to a Mr. Easter; or “Ester” in a variant (Bodleian MS Ashmole 36-37)), the Countess is left unable to dress herself. <back>

⁵⁰   preecher: “prithee” is a preferable reading (Bodleian MS Ashmole 36-37). <back>

⁵¹   Lord Cary...good Queene Mary: “Lady Cary” is a preferable variant (Bodleian MS Ashmole 36-37); Lady Thomasina Carew, the Queen’s Keeper of the Sweet Coffers (a role that involved responsibility for gloves). <back>

⁵²   My Lady Kellegrew: probably Mary Killigrew (née Woodhouse), wife of the courtier Sir Robert Killigrew the Queen’s Vice-Chamberlain between 1630 and his death in 1633; possibly Anne Kirke (née Killigrew), daughter of Sir Robert Killigrew, and herself a former Maid of Honour to the Queen, who was still active in the Queen’s household after her 1627 marriage (Poynting 167). <back>

⁵³   Crofts tale: probably a reference to Cicely Crofts, one of the Queen’s maids of honour. <back>

⁵⁴   Seymer: Dorothy Seymour, one of the Queen’s maids of honour. <back>

⁵⁵   grutch: grate, gnash; in context, bawdy. <back>

⁵⁶   Mrs Arden: possibly Elizabeth Arden, one of Henrietta Maria’s maids of honour until her marriage c.1631-32; possibly Elizabeth’s sister Goditha, who succeeded Elizabeth as a maid of honour. <back>

⁵⁷   Howard...after kind: probably a reference to Elizabeth Howard, one of the Queen's maids of honour; possibly, instead, a reference Katherine (i.e. "Cat") Howard, who secretly married Lord George Stuart, Seigneur d'Aubigny, in May 1638 <back>

⁵⁸   Hanmer: probably Dorothy Hanmer (née Trevor), a Lady-in-Waiting to the Queen. She married the courtier Sir Thomas Hanmer some time in the early 1630s. <back>

⁵⁹   Her husbands: probably Sir Thomas Hanmer. <back>

⁶⁰   hornes: i.e. cuckold’s horns. <back>

⁶¹   Calfe: fool; dolt. <back>

⁶²   The Mother of the mayds: : the duty of the Mother of the Maids was to oversee the behaviour of the maids of honour (Poynting 164). The position was held until 1635 by Ursula Beaumont, widow of the playwright Francis Beaumont. Thereafter it was held briefly by Elizabeth Beaumont (probably a daughter of Francis and Ursula), then by Jane Temple. <back>

⁶³   Madam Nurse: Francoise de Monbodiac, Henrietta Maria’s nurse when she was young, who became a permanent fixture in her English household. <back>

⁶⁴   her sonne: Jean Garnier, son of Francoise de Monbodiac and her husband (also called Jean Garnier); the Queen’s Groom of the Privy Chamber by 1632. <back>

⁶⁵   Your daughters…lost in Fraunce: Francoise de Monbodiac and Jean Garnier had four daughters, three of whom married French courtiers. <back>

⁶⁶   Caito: or “Catto” (Bodleian MS Ashmole 36-37); probably Katherine, one of the daughters of Francoise de Monbodiac and Jean Garnier. She married Thomas Arpe in 1637.or “Catto” (Bodleian MS Ashmole 36-37). Untraced; perhaps a nickname. <back>

⁶⁷   Madam Vamtlet: Madame de Vantelet, a “chamberer” (i.e. one of the married women who attended the Queen in her intimate situation). <back>

⁶⁸   thereof: “there often” is a preferable reading (Bodleian MS Ashmole 36-37). <back>

⁶⁹   dock: colloquially, vagina or anus. <back>