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“A lamentable newe Ballade expressing the Complaynte of Sir Frances Michell Knighte dwellinge in Pickthatche1 lately Justice of Peace. To a scurvey tune.”

You Justices & men of myghte

You Constables that walke by nyghte

And all you officers more lowe

But marke my sudden overthrowe

And then by mee Example make

5

How you get goods, how bribes you take

For that has bine my discontente

And for like Acts you shall be shente2

Before this Parlamente I myghte

Have done all this, & yet no knighte3

10

But they are nowe so busy growne

Alas ouer Faults must all be knowne

No place nor hower can preserve

theyer lives from them that ill deserve

and this my storey may asseuer yee

15

If you bee badde theyle not endeuer yee

For though the kinge mee knyghthood gave

yet they presumed, to call me knave

and sayd that I deserved to dye

For begginge a monopolie

20

Sir Giles Mompessone though hee were

a kinsman to the Marques neere4

was for this cause thrust out and chide

Sum say shall hange but god forbidd5

For if yee should bee trussed upp6

25

I am certeyne I shall tast that Cupe

For I alas that discord bredde

I put this sute into his heade

when firste this course was scand & tried

and my faulte could not be denied

30

with Lord have merceye on mee they

did to the Tower mee streighte convey7

On Foote I then adjudged was

alonge the streets with shame to passe8

moore favor they the Serjeants9 did

35

For whilste I walkt, those Rascalls ridd

In this sorte as I walkte a longe

those people all, which I did wronge

Came laughing oute at my disgrace

and yet I must not hide my face

40

A Fatt Alewife that had beefore

in full 7 yeares not stired to dooer

with kitchin curtses10 did mee Followe

as if like ale shee would mee swallowe

An Inkeeper that solde his haye

45

the fine I call for for to paye11

with a pitchforke did at mee thruste

as if my harte hee would have burste

Twoe caryers nexte with yawlinge throtes

raylde at mee for the price of oats12

50

and sayd aloude through my deceyte

Theyer horses travell withoute bayte13

When through those scornes at laste I came

unto the Tower with spite & shame

my Judgmente yet beehould was more

55

And Fare worse followed then beefore

That place they esteemed to good

Both for my cause & for my blood

and unto Newgate I must goe

a stinkinge prisone, God doth knowe14

60

A Baude in seethinge Lane15 mee spied

One that for 10 yeares space mee bribd16

that for herselfe & all her whoores

no warrant entred att her doores

Shee ruthfull woman oneley wept

65

To see my fall such coyle17 was kept

with her and hers since I departed

Herselfe att leste had twise bene carted18

Not farre from her a younge whore stands

sighinge and wringinge of her hands

70

Pickthatch (quoth shee) can nowe no more

bee a proteccon for a whoore19

But that which greives & vext mee worse

the nexte I sawe was a cutpurse

whome I as Hickes his Hall can tell20

75

both saved from newgate & Bridewell21

And yet this Rouge amongeste the rest

did laugh att mee & make a jeste

and swore my worship tooke a Fee

to set his heeles at libertey

80

The bauds and whoores of Turball22 all

cam laughinge by to see my fall

and followinge by mee 3 whoores tripte

whome I had caused to bee whipte

Another did a halter shake

85

of hempe & Flaxe herselfe did make

when I in newe bridewell did putte

For juste ofence that rampant slutt

Nor is this end of all my payne

from worse I feare theyle not refrayne

90

my cause alas is come to that

They meane to do the Lord knows what

Yet still I wish health to the Kinge

whoe gratious is in everey thinge

and ene on the howses highe & lowe23

95

I pray to God his grace bestowe

For they are like if they goe on

to leave noe faulte unthaught uppon

and then Ime suer howere I bee

I shall have still more companey.

100

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Source. Bodleian MS Tanner 306, fols. 247r-248v

Mi1

Quick links to other poems within this section

Select page here M0. Introduction Mi1. You Justices & men Mi2. The tottering state Mi3. Pervertinge of the lawes Mi4. Fly not Momperson Mi5. Oyes Mii1. The measled Boare Mii2. Stand fast thou shaking Mii3. Great Verulam is very lame Mii4. Why shoulde poore Mii5. The greate assemblie Mii6. Heer is Francis Verulam Mii7. Within this sty heer Mii8. When you awake Mii9. What hatfull fury Mii10. Blame not the Poet Miii1. One worthy Chancellour Miii2. When Charles, hath got Miii3. Thy followers in hope Miii4. Anagram on John Williams Miii5. The Kinge & the court

¹   Pickthatche: i.e. Pickt-Hatch, a resort of thieves and prostitutes in London; “picked-hatch” was also a contemporary term for a brothel. <back>

²   shente: disgraced; ruined. <back>

³   & yet no knighte: Michell was knighted in December 1620. <back>

⁴   Sir Giles...Marques neere: Mompesson, accused as a monopolist alongside Michell, was related by marriage to George Villiers, who was at this time Marquis of Buckingham. <back>

⁵   Sum say...forbidd: other evidence in the poem indicates that it was written after Mompesson’s flight from England, in March 1621; however, his whereabouts may well have been unclear to the poet. <back>

⁶   trussed upp: strung up; hanged. <back>

⁷   did to the Tower...convey: Michell was committed to the Tower in February 1621. <back>

⁸   On Foote...to passe: Michell travelled to the Tower on foot and bare-headed. <back>

⁹   Serjeants: judicial officers (escorting Michell). <back>

¹⁰   kitchin curtses: unclear; possibly read “kitchen curses”, but possibly “kitchen curtsies” (the latter to be taken ironically). <back>

¹¹   An Inkeeper...to paye: Michell was accused of abusing his powers in administering the patent for alehouses, which involved the extortion of fines from alehouse-keepers; however, it is not clear whether he had a role in the separate patent for inns. <back>

¹²   price of oats: patents did not directly affect the price of oats; however, the costs of fines borne by innkeepers were inevitably passed on to customers (such as carriers), and the poem perhaps acknowledges this fact here. <back>

¹³   bayte: feed; refreshment. <back>

¹⁴   That place...God doth knowe: though initially committed to the Tower, Michell was subsequently moved, because the Tower was considered to be too good for him. Although the DNB states that he was moved to Finsbury jail, there is some evidence to support the claims of libellers that his destination was in fact Newgate, a prison from which he had previously received a salary, as a Middlesex Justice of the Peace, on condition of sending all his prisoners there. <back>

¹⁵   seethinge Lane: Seething Lane, near the corn market in Fenchurch Street. <back>

¹⁶   One...mee bribd: presumably a reference to Michell’s activities as Justice of the Peace for Middlesex. <back>

¹⁷   coyle: tumult. <back>

¹⁸   carted: i.e. carried in a cart through the streets; traditional punishment for a whore. <back>

¹⁹   Pickthatch...whoore: i.e. Pickt-Hatch, a resort of thieves and prostitutes in London, may now be exposed to the law (since its protector has been removed from power). <back>

²⁰   as Hickes...tell: although the specific reference is unclear, the meaning is obvious (i.e. “I can see this as clearly as I can recognize Hicks’s hall”). <back>

²¹   newgate & Bridewell: prisons for common offenders. <back>

²²   Turball: i.e. Turnball Street, perhaps the most disreputable street in London. <back>

²³   the howses highe &...lowe: i.e. the high and low houses of parliament (the Lords and the Commons). <back>